Day Trippin'

Took a little day trip up to Big Canoe last week so that the boys could see their great grandparents

for a little bit. It was a drizzly day, but we didn't let that stop us from meandering over to

Amicalola Falls. Didn't stay long, but we got our waterfall itch scratched for a minute.

Mom

Growing up, I thought that all moms were the same as my mom. That all moms were as attentive, and nurturing, and caring, and special as my mom. I thought that other moms loved their children as much as my mom loved me. I didn't realize that there were children out there that were not loved on every day. I didn't realize that there were children that may not get to go to bed with a full belly. I didn't realize that there were children that weren't read to and cuddled with every night at bedtime. I didn't realize that there were mothers that had left their families because their hearts didn't care for their babies the way a mother's should.

But as a young child, I missed all of that.

The older I grew the more I realize how special my mom was. She was always the room mom, the team mom, the picture taker, the craft maker, the school project finisher. She was my biggest cheerleader. I can count on one hand how many of my games or meets she missed in my entire athletic career. Even still I didn't realize that this wasn't what all moms did.

I became a teenager and I started to resent her (and my dad, but this isn't about him hah) because they didn't allow me to do things that all of my peers were doing... "But Mom! Everyone else is doing it!?" Rarely would this slide. I began to think that my parents were the absolute worst because they didn't let me do certain things that I now know I shouldn't have been doing at the time anyway. As a high schooler, I was a royal pain in the arse. My poor parents. Mom, especially. I dragged them through all kinds of teen girl drama and disrespect and for some reason, they never disowned me.

Then college came and I got out of the house, FINALLY. Mom never failed to check in on me every day. I still had to let her know every night when I was in bed. Haha. This still, I saw as a nuisance, but I realize now, it was only because she loved me.

Life happened, and I too became a mother. I remember minutes after my eldest was born, I broke down to my mom. I apologized for everything I'd ever done to hurt her. I finally got it... It all finally clicked. The love a mother has for her child is so beautiful yet so full of heartache. The second Casen entered my world, my entire perspective on life flipped upside down. I finally understood how much I had put her through. The pain and the joy alike. It all made sense. Every single thing she had ever done to me or for me was because she loved me. Never once do I remember my mom doing something selfish or something that only benefited her. My siblings and I were her priority 100% and I took that for granted.

Now that I'm an adult with children on my own, my mom and I still bump heads and rarely see eye to eye, but we now have a bond that can't be broken. I understand her now. We are together in the Sisterhood of Motherhood.

Mom, I am eternally grateful to you for everything that you have done for me and continue to do. You are my rock and my home. I appreciate everything and I love you more than you will ever know.

I'll love you forever, 

I'll like you for always,

As long as I'm living, 

My mommy you'll be.

The Tragedy That Is "Settling"

When I imagine the physical act of "settling", I envision an object sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Deeper and deeper it falls until it comes to its final resting place on the sea floor, where it will stay unmoving, indefinitely. 

Settling. It's something that we are all guilty of. We settle into jobs, routines, relationships, and habits. We settle with our bodies, our health, our friends, and our homes. We settle for second best or we settle for things we don't really want. There are countless definitions for the word "settle", and not a single one of them is empowering. Sure the word itself may not actually be negative in context, but neither is it a word that resonates positively. So if this is the case, then why do so many of us settle with the way things are? We settle because we get comfortable. Because it's easy or because we are lazy. We settle because we think it's the best we can do or we don't want to put in the effort to have or to be better.

I know so many people, including myself, that become comfortable with where they are in life, even though they are not necessarily being fulfilled. In the short span of my life, I have been a chronic settler. I have rarely been one to go above and beyond in the expectations I set for myself. I have settled with being a mediocre student because I didn't want to put in the time or the effort to excel. Not because I wasn't capable, but because I was lazy and I wasn't thinking about my future. I settled with third place in two events at my region meet my senior year of high school. Not because I couldn't have walked away with the gold in both of them (in fact I should have), but because first and second place finishers went on to the state meet and I didn't feel like training for two additional weeks. I have settled into many an unhealthy relationship. Not because we were happy together or right for each other, but because I didn't want to be alone or because I thought I was "supposed" to stay with them given the circumstances at the time. 

I am really not one to have regrets, and to be honest, there is nothing in my life that I want to take back for the sole reason that I am so happy with the way that my life is unfolding, but I will say that had I not settled in countless situations in my life, I would have suffered a lot less heartache.  Never cheat yourself out of your greatest potential or out of being with someone or doing something that makes you ridiculously happy. Keep looking for your dream house or your "dream guy". Keep striving for that promotion or that new 5k PR. Never settle with second best. You deserve to excel in life. Refuse to become stagnant and don't let time slip through your fingers. You deserve everything you want out of life. The only catch is, you have to be the one to chase it and you can't do that if you stay where you are. 

When you settle, you are sending out the message to yourself that you are not worthy of being your best self. You are telling the world that you are okay with "not-great". Well, I have decided that I am not okay with "not-great". I'm tired of looking back and feeling like I could have done better or been better. 

Today, I am making a commitment to myself, to make every effort to never again settle. To never again make excuses for why I should or shouldn't do something. This is my life and I deserve for it to be fulfilling!

Taken by Casen

Those of you that have been checking in on the blog know that it has been MONTHS since I last posted. A lot has happened, and I mean a lot. I plan to catch everyone up soon, but first I want to post a few pictures from our weekend trip to Savannah back in November (haha, don't judge me) for my cousin's wedding. We actually let Casen handle the camera for a while and these are the result of that. Note: Casen took the pics, but I edited them ;)