Growing up, I thought that all moms were the same as my mom. That all moms were as attentive, and nurturing, and caring, and special as my mom. I thought that other moms loved their children as much as my mom loved me. I didn't realize that there were children out there that were not loved on every day. I didn't realize that there were children that may not get to go to bed with a full belly. I didn't realize that there were children that weren't read to and cuddled with every night at bedtime. I didn't realize that there were mothers that had left their families because their hearts didn't care for their babies the way a mother's should.
But as a young child, I missed all of that.
The older I grew the more I realize how special my mom was. She was always the room mom, the team mom, the picture taker, the craft maker, the school project finisher. She was my biggest cheerleader. I can count on one hand how many of my games or meets she missed in my entire athletic career. Even still I didn't realize that this wasn't what all moms did.
I became a teenager and I started to resent her (and my dad, but this isn't about him hah) because they didn't allow me to do things that all of my peers were doing... "But Mom! Everyone else is doing it!?" Rarely would this slide. I began to think that my parents were the absolute worst because they didn't let me do certain things that I now know I shouldn't have been doing at the time anyway. As a high schooler, I was a royal pain in the arse. My poor parents. Mom, especially. I dragged them through all kinds of teen girl drama and disrespect and for some reason, they never disowned me.
Then college came and I got out of the house, FINALLY. Mom never failed to check in on me every day. I still had to let her know every night when I was in bed. Haha. This still, I saw as a nuisance, but I realize now, it was only because she loved me.
Life happened, and I too became a mother. I remember minutes after my eldest was born, I broke down to my mom. I apologized for everything I'd ever done to hurt her. I finally got it... It all finally clicked. The love a mother has for her child is so beautiful yet so full of heartache. The second Casen entered my world, my entire perspective on life flipped upside down. I finally understood how much I had put her through. The pain and the joy alike. It all made sense. Every single thing she had ever done to me or for me was because she loved me. Never once do I remember my mom doing something selfish or something that only benefited her. My siblings and I were her priority 100% and I took that for granted.
Now that I'm an adult with children on my own, my mom and I still bump heads and rarely see eye to eye, but we now have a bond that can't be broken. I understand her now. We are together in the Sisterhood of Motherhood.
Mom, I am eternally grateful to you for everything that you have done for me and continue to do. You are my rock and my home. I appreciate everything and I love you more than you will ever know.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living,
My mommy you'll be.
